Mike's "Not the Sharpest Tool" List of One Liners

"Not the Sharpest Tool"

A List of Politically Correct One-Liners Inferring Stupidity

Revised: 12/25/2010

He only has one oar in the water	KD7TS, mreed4, 1-2000
Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels	Frank Hinkle, 10-99
The butter has slipped off his pancake	Frank Hinkle, 10-99
Warning: Objects in her mirror are dumber than they appear	Frank Hinkle, 10-99
If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate	Mike Shirley, 10-99
She was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby	Mike Shirley, 10-99
If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week	Mike Shirley, 10-99
She's as sharp as a bowling ball.	bust.it@worldnet.att.net
He is an intellect rivaled only by garden tools.	Mike Shirley, 7/99
She fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.	Mike Shirley, 7/99
He couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.	Mike Shirley, 7/99
The cheese slid off her cracker	Mike Shirley, 7/99
He's a few feathers short of a whole duck	Mike Shirley, 7/99
She's one taco short of a combination plate	Mike Shirley, 7/99
He's one Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl	Mike Shirley, 7/99
She doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box	Mike Shirley, 7/99
He's a few peas short of a casserole	Mike Shirley, 7/99
She's dumber than a box of hair	Mike Shirley, 7/99
He's a few fries short of a Happy Meal	Mike Shirley, 7/99
She's a few clowns short of a circus	Mike Shirley, 7/99
His light is on, but nobody's home	Mike Shirley, 7/99
She is as smart as bait	Mike Shirley, 7/99
His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor	Mike Shirley, 7/99
Her sewing machine's out of thread	Mike Shirley, 7/99
His belt doesn't go through all the loops	Mike Shirley, 7/99
She is missing a few buttons on her remote control	Mike Shirley, 7/99
He has no grain in the silo	Mike Shirley, 7/99
Her receiver is off the hook	Mike Shirley, 7/99
He is several nuts short of a full pouch	Mike Shirley, 7/99
She has too much yardage between the goal posts	Mike Shirley, 7/99
He has the the IQ of dryer lint.	Mike Shirley, 7/99
She's a penny short of a dollar.	Ashley Saffary, 2-99
He's not the brightest light on the christmas tree	Ashley Saffary, 2-99
She's one BIT short of a BYTE	Scott O'Connell, 10/98
Her high order bit has never been set!	Scott O'Connell, 10/98
She's not the sharpest tack on the board	Mike Shirley, 9/98
He's got too much yardage between the goal posts	Steve Winchell, 9/98
He's a few of buttons short of a remote control	Steve Winchell, 9/98
She's a taco short of a combination plate	Steve Winchell, 9/98
He's few peas short of a casserole	Steve Winchell, 9/98
She's one Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl	Steve Winchell, 9/98
He's not packing a full Seabag	Keith Schauweker, 9/98
She's a few clowns short of a circus	Steve Winchell, 9/98
His IQ is a couple of degrees below room temp	Joan Sturgeon, 8/98
She's a taco short of a combination plate	Steve Winchell, 8/98
He's a toy short of a happy meal	Brian Shirley, 8/98
She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer	Mike Shirley, 8/98
He's not the sharpest tool in the shed	Mike Shirley, 8/98
She's not the coldest beer in the fridge	Mike Shirley, 8/98
He's a card short of a full deck	Mike Shirley, 8/98
She's a brick short of a full load	Mike Shirley, 8/98
His elevator doesn't go to the top	Mike Shirley, 8/98
She's one sandwich short of a picnic	Dick Arneson, 8/98
He's 2 cans short of a six pack	Chris Whitehead, 8/98
She doesn't have a free spot on her bingo card	George Bennett, 8/98
He's not the brightest crayon in the box	Nicole Shirley, 8/98
Her light is on but nobody's home	Mike Shirley, 8/98